thoughts from an empty head

The cookies were a big hit at the potluck today.

Unfortunately, I ate way too much of everything else, and am paying for it now.

Someone pass the Alka-Seltzer.

• Top 3 stimulus-check destinations? Gas, groceries, debt - MarketWatch
  A growing number of consumers told pollsters in at least three separate surveys recently that they will use the money the government is sending them in coming weeks to pay down debt, fill up the family car and stock the kitchen pantry.
  (tags: stimulus economics debt food fuel)
• Pharyngula: Michael Medved says something dumb
  You have got to read Michael Medved’s latest foray into pseudoscience: he has declared American superiority to be genetic, encoded in our good old American DNA
  (tags: culture politics stupid science wingnuts wtf racism white+mans+burden)
• Hillary Clinton and the Legion of Super-Duper Delegates | Zaius Nation - Some apes are more equal than others
  Out. Freaking. Standing.
  (tags: hillary+clinton superdelegates legion+of+superheroes comic ROTFLMAO comics)

Oy, what a day. Rough day at work, compounded by the city of Albuquerque deciding to give everyone a free ride on the bus today. And, just skimming the feeds tonight, I honestly can’t be arsed to care about much of anything happening.

On the plus side, I baked a batch of peanut butter cookies tonight. Hey, stop laughing; I bake. They turned out darn near perfect.

So, I’m going to bed. Hopefully, I won’t need that triple espresso in the morning, but I’m not holding my breath.

Oh, by the way, I changed the template on the blog again. Tell me how much you hate it.

• Bush May Be as Harmful to McCain as Wright Is to Obama
  Duh.
  (tags: 2008 Bush election elections gop Obama politics polls millstone+around+his+neck mccain)
• Things younger than Republican Presidential candidate (oh, and did I forget to mention “war hero”?) John McCain
  Alaska is younger than John McCain. Yes, the whole state.
  (tags: 2008 propaganda politics humor mccain funny blog history usa Republican time weblog Comedy blogs activism culture elections fun hilarious humour meme Obama lol presidency president)

Shorter mainstream media: “We’ll get around to taking a hard look at McCain - right after we put the uppity Negro and the feminazi back in their places take a critical look at the Democratic candidates. Maybe. Now, where did I put that box of donuts?”

Yes, I have used this approach once. And it worked.

Douglas J. Feith
State of Wingnuttia

Dear Stupidest Guy on Earth:

Regarding your interview with Jon Stewart, I can only say that, after hearing your incredibly stupid rationalizations, Tommy Franks was only too right about you, sir.

To wit:

FEITH: When people read this book, I think people will be surprised to be reminded of what was actually said. I think a lot of people’s perceptions of what was said are filtered through the recent history. … I think they misremember a lot.

Gee, I wonder where in the world the average American might have gotten the wrong idea about the war.

Anyway, good luck trying to convince the rest of us that somehow this whole mess wasn’t all your (and the rest of this criminally inept administration’s) fault, dude.

Regards,

Steven Perez
Observer and raconteur, thoughts from an empty head

more cat pictures

Mom & Pop are not happy. Neither are Josh & Olga.

They filed their tax returns well ahead of the deadline this year. They expected to receive their stimulus checks on the proscribed date at the IRS’ website, which should have been sometime last week.

So imagine their surprise, horror and anger when the direct deposit didn’t materialize in their bank accounts. Mom immediately called the IRS and was told that, because they all filed their returns using H&R Block’s online tax return service, their checks were being delayed until next month.

Turns out they weren’t the only ones.

Taxpayers who don’t have their expected tax rebates yet might want to re-mark the calendar for late spring or summer.

The reason is in the fine print of an Internal Revenue Service announcement last week.

The government said it has decided to issue paper checks to all taxpayers who had their tax-preparation service or e-filing provider fees deducted from their refunds, even if the refunds arrived by direct deposit.

It is also issuing paper checks to taxpayers who prescribed that their refunds be directly deposited into multiple bank accounts.

Folks in either category must consult the online payment schedule marked “Paper Check,” not the one marked “Direct Deposit,” to know when their rebate from a Bush administration initiative will arrive.

Nice to know that the same administration that completely screwed FEMA is hard at work messing up the IRS as well.

Oh, well. Maybe I’ll see my check in time for New Years Day. That way, I can finally afford that bag of chips I’ve had my eye on in time for the playoffs.

Apparently, someone at the Pentagon has a much different definition of the word “thoughtful” than I find in my dictionary, because he used the word in conjunction with Bill O’Reilly and Michelle Malkin.

Yes, that Bill O’Reilly.

And yes, the same crazy Michelle Malkin who gave us loads of “thoughtful” insight over the years.

To quote a well-known fictional character, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

President Bush digs deep down and makes the ultimate sacrifice.

Q Mr. President, you haven’t been golfing in recent years. Is that related to Iraq?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, it really is. I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.

I’m sure that all of those vets who have lost limbs in this pointless war appreciate Dubya’s valiant sacrifice.

And hey, it only took him seven years to kick that habit to the curb.

No word if he plans on giving up on the brush clearing as well.

• Sadly, No! » Oh my
  The Bush Legacy, in photos.
  (tags: doughy+pantload bush photos legacy history katrina 9/11 economy)

Ladies and gentlemen, I present, for your consideration, a true professional in the field of journalism. (WARNING: Potty mouth ahead.)

A few things:

* Bill O’Reilly had that much hair at one time?

* INSIDE EDITION? Really? I know everyone had to work some pretty crappy jobs at some point in their lives, but geez. At least Olbermann came up from sports.

* Yeah, I know. Everyone has bad days, but c’mon. He went off the bend because of a broken machine. Around where I work, we have a name for people with short fuses who fly off the handle at little things: jackasses.

Then again, Captain Falafel is in the right place, isn’t he?

Via Petulant.

• ABC News: Halliburton Rape Claim Goes to Court
  A Houston woman who says she was gang raped by co-workers at a Halliburton/KBR camp in Baghdad won a major court battle late Friday when a Texas judge ordered that she can bring her case to court instead of forcing her into secretive arbitration proceedin
  (tags: kbr haliburton rape legal lawsuit jones Texas iraq war Jamie+Leigh+Jones)
• US report: Wet weather slowing corn planting to slowest rate since 1995 - International Herald Tribune
  Corn production this year could be down as much as 7 percent from the record-breaking heights of 2007, according to a U.S. Department of Agriculture report released Friday.
  (tags: corn fuel biofuel economics weather climate)
• China considers buying land overseas to secure food supply - report - Forbes.com
  The Chinese government may encourage domestic companies to buy farmland abroad, particularly in Africa and South America, to help guarantee food security, the Financial Times reported.
  (tags: China farming food crisis)

IMG_3392.JPG, originally uploaded by plattforms.

“So, what am I looking at?” Bill asked.

Rob beamed proudly. “It’s the time machine I’ve been working on. It took a bit longer than I expected, but it’s finally finished. With this little device, we can go anywhere and anyplace in history.”

Bill peered closely at the small device on the table and shot his friend a quizzical look. “So, how does it work?”

Rob reached down and began twisting dials on the surface. “I made it as simple as I could. Just align these dials like this and -”

The room began to warp and shimmer and then, with a flash, the kitchen was gone and they were suddenly sitting in a grean meadow on a chilly misty morning. The table, chairs and the device, as well as Bill and Rob, had been transported to this strange new place.

Rob held his arms aloft, a triumphant smile on his face. “Voila! Hastings, 1066. Site of the famous battle between Harold and William. And we have front row seats!”

From either side of the table, the two men could see the approaching armies, the Saxons on one side and the Normans on the other. Neither side looked terribly happy.

Bill looked around nervously. “Wait, you brought us to the middle of a battleground?!? Are you insane? Of all the places we could have gone, you bring us to the middle of a WAR!”

Rob smirked at his friend. “Now, now, don’t get your knickers in a twist. All I have to do is hit the reset button on the time machine, and we end up back where we started.” Reaching down to the device, he pressed the middle portion of the time machine down and waited.

Nothing happened.

Rob’s smirk disappeared.

Bill’s eyes grew larger. “Ummm, why haven’t we gone anywhere?”

The Norman army began to knock their arrows.

Rob’s hands suddenly scurried all over his pockets, apparently looking for something, before a horrified look fell over his face.

“Ummm, I may have left the extra batteries back on my work table.”

They dove under the table just as the first arrows began to fall, hitting the table top with a thud.

“That’s the last time I give you money for your stupid eBay purchases, you idiot,” Bill said.

• Dana Milbank - Republicans Vote Against Moms; No Word Yet on Puppies, Kittens - washingtonpost.com
  It was already shaping up to be a difficult year for congressional Republicans. Now, on the cusp of Mother’s Day, comes this: A majority of the House GOP has voted against motherhood.
  (tags: news politics Republican congress mothers wtf stupidity lol)
• Low-tech Magazine: Computing without electricity
  Fast and complicated calculations are a product of fossil fuels.
  (tags: calculators computers low+tech mechanical machines toread)
• If music DRM is dead, the RIAA expects its resurrection
  “Any form of subscription service or limited play-per-view or advertising offer still requires DRM. So DRM is not dead.”
  (tags: riaa DRM copyright musicindustry article music future law stupid stupidity technology)
• House passes bill that will let the RIAA take away your home for downloading music - Boing Boing
  PRO-IP puts local law enforcement in a position to demand the forfeiture in criminal proceedings of stuff used to violate copyright. Which means that instead of the RIAA simply trying to collect fines, they can also incite local authorities to collect all
  (tags: copyright RIAA politics music law copyfight capitalism corruption doctorow greed laws legislation piracy)
• Think Progress » McCain’s 10-second flip on whether he voted for Bush: ‘Of course not,’ ‘Of course.’
  File under “Senior Moment”, and then remember that the guy having “senior moments” is running for the job that puts him in charge of nuclear weapons.
  (tags: mccain senility wtf grampa+simpson)
• Blackwater unlikely to face charges - Conflict in Iraq- msnbc.com
  Blackwater Worldwide, the security contractor blamed by an angry Iraqi government for the shooting deaths of 17 civilians, is not expected to face criminal charges — all but ensuring the company will keep its multimillion-dollar contract to protect U.S.
  (tags: iraq war mercenaries blackwater civilians murder injustice wtf)
• Rising fuel prices are a driving force for change - away from autos - Los Angeles Times
  After declining at the end of 2007, L.A. rail and bus ridership started rising in January. From January to March, average weekday boardings were up 16% on the Red Line rail system, 13% on the Blue Line and 17% on the Gold Line, which set a record for high
  (tags: California commuting energy gas US cars)
• Gas Prices Send Surge of Riders to Mass Transit - New York Times
  With the price of gas approaching $4 a gallon, more commuters are abandoning their cars and taking the train or bus instead.
  (tags: NYT mass+transit fuel economy bus train)
• Pentagon official barred from aiding war-crime prosecution - International Herald Tribune
  In a new blow to the Bush administration’s troubled military commission system, a military judge has disqualified a Pentagon general who has been centrally involved in overseeing Guantánamo war crimes tribunals from any role in the first case headed for
  (tags: Guantanamo Pentagon military trial war+crimes)