thoughts from an empty head

Imagine, if you will, that you are Sarah Palin. You’ve just been held up to general ridicule after blowing the first major interview with a media guy who’s generally known for not doing really tough interviews. (I mean, seriously, this is Charlie Gibson, not Mike Wallace.) People are finally starting to see that you might be unqualified to be a dogcatcher, let alone vice president. Worse still, the members of the mainstream media, who collectively are as dependable as a box of baby wipes when it comes to making sure your poop don’t stink, are really starting to get pissed off by your campaign’s antics. You need some shoring up, and fast, otherwise Old Man Surge’s poll numbers will hit the floor again.

So what do you do?

What a silly question. Everyone knows what you do: you run home to Wingnuttia.

Sean Hannity, the conservative commentator, will interview Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin next week, the Fox News Channel announced Friday.

Jill Hazelbaker, a spokeswoman for the McCain campaign, confirmed that the television interview would be Ms. Palin’s second since becoming the vice presidential nominee on Aug. 29.

His interview will be taped Tuesday in Cincinnati, Ohio, and will be shown on “Hannity & Colmes,” Fox’s 9 p.m. political talk show, on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Oh, good. The Human Hairpiece gets to fluff has the opportunity to question the would-be vice president.

Because we all know how fair and balanced Hannity is when he’s doing an interview.

Stay classy, Hairpiece.

OMG.

Via Rumproast.

Uh oh. Looks like Jack Bauer might not be able to save the day this time.

Apparently Jack Bauer needs a little breather: After the completion of episode 18 on Sept. 15, production on Fox’s hit drama 24 will shut down until October 9th while the writers reshape the upcoming season’s creative direction — specifically the transition leading to the end game. “We had a couple of scripts that we weren’t happy with,” 24 exec producer Howard Gordon tells EW.com. “We just couldn’t get this direction to work, and we found another one that we liked better, so we wound up retooling it.

To which I say: take it one step further. Cancel the show.

Not a popular opinion, but I’m a firm believer that television shows should have a finite life. Tell your story and then get off the stage. (See: BABYLON 5.) The results when this maxim isn’t followed isn’t pretty (See: FRIENDS.), so it would have been better if the producers of 24 found a proper place to end the story and call it a day.

And it’s not easy to say this, because I really liked the first few seasons, Kim Bauer notwithstanding. The whole premise of the show reminded me a great deal of the old FLASH GORDON and BUCK ROGERS serials of the 30s and 40s: short episodic story that ends in a cliffhanger, which gets you to come back next week to see how the hero (and the writers) finds his/her way out of an impossible situation. All they did was substitute the science-fiction for political and action tropes.

So, yeah, it’s way past time to retire Jack Bauer. Just let him have a proper ending, and move on to the next story.

Because, really, how many world-ending bad days can one guy have, anyway?

Oh, yeah, and kill off Kim, please. I love Elisha Cuthbert to pieces, but good gravy, Kim Bauer is one of the stupidest characters ever written.

Via Mark Trapp.

How much do I love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert?

This much.

The Cap’n started it.

I’ll see you and raise you, mon capitan.