And Lo! There Came a Pestilence Unto the Land!
Posted by: Steven Perez in politics, tags: al franken, bill o reilly, elections have consequences, i write letters, ireland, wah wah wah
Brian Cowen
Prime Minister
Republic of Ireland
Dear Mr. Prime Minister:
On behalf of my fellow countrymen, I would like to tender our apologies for the coming blight upon your beautiful land. I’m not sure if you follow American politics, sir, but it seems that one of our countrymen made a very rash vow some time ago.
George Zornick writes: I woke up this morning, and Bill O’Reilly was on the phone with the Fox & Friends crew, threatening in completely serious tones to move to Ireland if Al Franken prevails in his tight Senate race and joins President Obama in Washington.
Well, sir, lock up your daughters and hide your loofahs.
That’s right. Bill O’Reilly, the High Lord of Bathroom Implements, is about to invade your shores. No doubt, within days after his arrival, he will have accosted any and all fair lasses who cross his path and gotten into drunken brawls about who loves America more with your citizenry while drinking up all your good whiskey.
Now, Captain Falafel isn’t too good when it comes to geography (or anything else, come to think of it), so your country may be spared the holocaust to come when he and his Fox Security Special Forces Brigades storm your beaches. With any luck, he’ll blow right past you and end up in Belfast by mistake.
One can only hope.
Our prayers are with you, sir.
Regards,
Steven Perez
Observer and raconteur, thoughts from an empty head
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