thoughts from an empty head

So last night, I hurried home to watch the election coverage on Fox News.

Longtime readers of this blog will no doubt wonder what I have been smoking if I say that I unblocked Fox News on my cable box for one night and watched the likes of Bill Kristol, Brit Hume and Karl Rove blather on about the historic election that happened yesterday. They would wonder all the more so what kind of brain damage I sustained from such an evening if I mentioned that, right at the stroke of 10 o’clock local time today, I dug out an old clock radio out of my closet and tuned the AM dial to hear the beginning of Rush Limbaugh’s three-hour Oxycontin-induced wankfest.

In a word: schadenfreude. I remember well the clown car that was Fox News two years ago when the electoral sky fell on their collective head, and I remember having the best schadenfreude-inspired belly laugh at the funereal mood that the Fox News chumps displayed while their party took a beating at the polls. Knowing this, and feeling pretty good about Obama’s chances, I made plans to watch the clown car once more.

I was not disappointed. I’m not sure what was funnier: that mostly-empty covered-in-blue-pegboard converted warehouse they used for a set, or the fact that each and every one of the talking heads there looked as if they had just been punched in the junk when Obama took Ohio.

Captain Oxycontin was even funnier this morning. According to the Lord of the Fatasses, conservatism was not on the ballot last night, and the Republican Party does not need to be rebuilt, because now the GOP can kick out all of the phony conservatives from the party. Also, he thanked Obama for getting rid of Hillary Clinton. Personally, I can’t wait until Hillary is made Secretary of State, just to see His Ass Wartiness’ head explode.

But one thing is really bugging me this afternoon. I’ve been reading some of the articles in my feeds all day, and it seems that the wingnuts on Fox and elsewhere in the blogosphere are still giving mostly-unhelpful advice to Barack Obama.

In response to this and other calls for centrist behavior from a party that has largely abandoned centrism, might I humbly offer the following advice to all wingnuts flapping their gums today.

Seriously, Obama just took all of your best shots and laughed them off on his way to a colossal victory. Do you honestly think he give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock what you think about how he should run things? Worse still, the majority of Americans have pretty much said loud and clear with their votes that they’re tired of the clown car that’s been running this country for the last eight years. And they’re sure as hell not buying what you’re selling. And you went and not only agreed with the crazy that took over your party, you embraced it. (See: Palin, Sarah)

So, please, save it, already. I don’t care who’s running in 2012 and right now I need a break from your political bovine scatology.

And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 at 5:58 pm and is filed under personal log. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.